Anissina von Karbelnikoff (anissina_vk) wrote,
Anissina von Karbelnikoff

Ah, Monday's picnic with Günter was very relaxing. And very much needed after everyone else abandoned me took their trip.

[It is always sad for me speak about my feelings, for two reasons. The first is that nobody seems to realize that I have them; the second is that no matter what they are, I will never, ever act upon them.

Around me, I see everyone, happy with their situations; A loves B, and even though B does not return his feelings, A is content in his situation. C also loves B, and will not give up even though A also loves B, or even though he has a thing for D.

...alright, I suppose that lately, they're not all happy, but they've all got someone who they're existing for.

I, Anissina, am the X. I do not even consider acting on my feelings, or admitting them- because that would disrupt order...

And it would also result in me getting hurt. After taking the pain passively for years, and burying it away within myself, I am not about to change my ways and have my heart openly broken.

So I'll watch from afar, wanting what I can never have.]

I'm looking forward to doing it again soon.
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